“I now pronounce you husband and wife.” The congregation applauded enthusiastically. The groom hoped his bride’s flirting with the server the night before was nothing to worry about.
Wait. What?! That is not what any groom should be thinking at his wedding. Most people do not marry someone who is probably going to be unfaithful.
It is right for a new husband to be jealous over his bride. He is entitled to her complete faithfulness. It’s not that he doesn’t want her to have other friends or enjoy the company of other men, but when it comes to sexual intimacy or the deepest levels of emotional intimacy, she is his alone. And he is hers alone.
There is more to jealousy than tend to think.
Two Kinds of Jealousy
Jealousy is a sin. God prohibits it. Envy made the ten commandments (do not covet) and the seven deadly sins list. It slays the simple and rots the bones (Job 5:2, Proverbs 14:30, 27:4). It’s bad.
Yet in 2 Corinthians 11:2 Paul writes, “I am jealous over you [the Corinthian church] with a godly jealousy…” He distinguishes godly jealousy (which is righteous) from ungodly jealousy (which is sin). What is the difference?
Ungodly jealousy / envy: Desiring something that does not belong to you.
- I am jealous of her new clothing / his hockey skills.
Godly jealousy: Desiring something that belongs to you but is being given to another.
- A husband is jealous over his wife’s flirting / sexual intimacy / emotional intimacy – it belongs to him only.
- God is jealous over His people’s worship and praise – it belongs to him only.
Ungodly jealousy stems from insecurity. To say “I’m jealous of her new clothes” is to admit I am insecure about my own clothes. Perhaps my insecurity is about the way I look, or the attention I receive or lack. With ungodly jealousy there is always comparison.
Godly jealousy is motivated by love. Allow me to explain.
Idolatry is Adultery
God is almost always described as jealous in the context of warnings against idolatry.
“You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God,” (Exodus 20:5).
“Do not follow other gods, the gods of the peoples around you; for the Lord your God, who is among you, is a jealous God…” (Deuteronomy 6:14-15).
The nation of Israel had entered a covenant with God. They were supposed to remain faithful to God. The first two commandments emphasize this expected faithfulness: (1) You shall have no other gods before me, and (2) you shall make no idols.
Several Old Testament writers use the analogy of a husband and wife to depict the relationship between God and Israel.
“For your Maker is your husband—the Lord Almighty is his name—the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth,” (Isaiah 54:5).
But faithless Israel takes on the role of adulterer when she forsakes God and goes after other gods. (See Jeremiah 3:6 & 20, Ezekiel 16:15 & 32. The biblical language of whore and prostitute is strong!) God instructs the prophet Hosea to marry a prostitute as a living illustration of God’s covenant faithfulness (Hosea) and Israel’s unfaithfulness (Hosea’s wife, Gomer).
These days our idols may be more sophisticated than wood and stone, but they are still idols. They have the first place in our hearts – the place God alone should occupy. We are no better than the Israelites when they worshipped other gods.
Angry God?
If God broke his covenant with us, we’d be angry. Yet many of us don’t like to think that God gets angry if we break our part. God’s anger is a good thing, because it means he loves us.
Imagine a lady flirting with other men in front of her husband. Or committing adultery against him. I’d get angry – wouldn’t you? I’d hope the husband would get angry too. A wife is supposed to remain faithful to her husband and vice versa. Faithfulness is part of what defines a marriage covenant.
If the husband did not get angry, it would be for one of two reasons: (1) he has a faulty idea of what marriage is, or (2) he does not dearly love and care for his wife.
As our covenant partner, God gets angry when we stray from him and offer our worship to something/someone else. This is because he dearly loves and cares for us.
(Of course, we do stray because we are sinners and covenant faithfulness is impossible for us, but here we must mention the good news. Believers are identified in Christ, the perfect covenant-keeper. Though we fail, his blood covers our sins and we are considered righteous before God.)
Thankfully, God will never break his covenant, even when we break ours. He cannot, for it is his nature to remain faithful.
“… If we are faithless,
he remains faithful,
for he cannot disown himself,” (2 Timothy 2:13).
So, God wants us to worship him only. No idols. No spiritual flirting. But why?
We Become Like What We Worship
Several times in the Bible we read that people become like what they worship. Those who worship idols become like them: blind, deaf, mute, unfeeling, lifeless, and worthless (Psalm 115:4-8, 135:15-18, Jeremiah 2:5). On the contrary, those who worship the living God become like him: full of life, spiritual understanding, and ever-increasing glory, (2 Corinthians 3:18, 1 John 3:2).
If God was nonchalant about his people worshipping false gods and idols, he would not be good. God is jealous over us because he wants the best for us. It is not for his sake that he wants our worship – he doesn’t need it. It is for our own sake, that we may become like him in all his goodness, and share in his everlasting joy.
Our God is good. He loves us and wants the best for us – which is to be like him and with him. Therefore he is jealous over us, desiring all our worship. His passionate zeal for us is better than we could begin to hope, given our fickle straying after idols on a regular basis. He is our devoted partner in covenant, and he will be faithful to the end.
Read Also:
Growing in the Fear of God (hint: there are also two kinds of fear)
