Her heart pounded as she answered the phone. Was the cancer back? Why was her family doctor calling her? She had an appointment with the oncologist next week to discuss her routine CT scan results, so why did her family doctor want to discuss the results too?

“Okay. Thursday at 10:30, sure, I’ll keep my phone with me. Thanks.” Thursday was two days away. How would she survive that long? It wasn’t the first time she had fought fear, and it wouldn’t be the last. Sigh. She fought back the tears and her mind raced as she washed the dishes and gave her kids lunch, only half-present.

As soon as they were down for a nap, she pulled out her journal and confronted God. She wrote and wrote until fear subsided and the faintest glimmers of hope entered her heart:

A phone call from my doctor’s office and my world comes crashing down. I am guarded by peace. I am thankful for the Scripture CDs we love. I am thankful for my beautiful children who draw my attention away from obsessing, with their shining faces and warm cuddles. I am thankful for an hour alone while they sleep.

I am all jumbled up inside. Anxiety. Fear. Faith. Worry. Trust. Questions. Calm. I know I am held through it all. I am thankful for Bill’s email reminding me You have something to say to me on this right now.

God’s plans for me will prevail. God’s plans for my kids will prevail. I can give up all my dreams in a blink. My greatest fear is that my children will grow up without me, scarred by my absence. Not to say Kyle won’t find another amazing woman to be their mother, but that doesn’t take away the deepest pain of losing mommy. And Kyle – how to cope himself, let alone looking after two littles.

It’s not to say the cancer is back. Perhaps there are other reasons. A random phone call from my doctor. Another reason for the increase in the size of the lump I can feel (though it usually plays mind games with me). Even if… There may be another solution: surgery, more treatment. My times are in your hands, Lord.

My mind jumps all over the place. Humor kicks in. At least if I have to spend the rest of my days in a wheelchair I’ll have a better excuse for not exercising much. Questions surface. More concerns. I long to see You face-to-face, Jesus, but I am not ready to leave earth any time soon. How about You return before I go?!

But seriously, God, I need to hear from You. You! I have set any other concerns aside – I need to hear You speaking to me. I open the Scriptures to Psalm 46:10. The refrain has been stuck in my head from the CD we listened to this morning:

“Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

The verse is in the context of a Psalm that lists some big reasons to fear:

“God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.

… Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

… He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress” (Psalm 46:1-3,6,10-11).

Suddenly I am filled with hope and faith that perhaps my doctor is seeing something completely non-cancer-related. I had seen on the previous CT scan report that there was a cyst that was not an issue. Maybe that is growing. I feel the lump – the leftover marker of previous cancer – it doesn’t seem quite as big as it did the day before.

All of a sudden I am hope-filled. And held. A cyst? I can deal with a cyst!

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Thursday.

The doctor call was about a cyst – It feels like nothing compared to the cancer I feared. Thank You, Lord, for the peace You gave me two days ago. And thank You for helping me to grow in fighting fear.

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Strategies for fighting fear

• Remember God is with us

God doesn’t promise we will not face suffering. The one we follow (Jesus) warned us of that and suffered greatly Himself. But God does promise he will never leave us, he will always be with us.

Rather, God redeems suffering for the good of those who love Him and for His glory (Romans 8:28), and He is right there with us through it all. An unwanted diagnosis? He is right there. Betrayed by a close friend? He is with you. PTSD? He has never left you. Endlessly waiting with unfulfilled desires? He sees and He hears and He is by your side.

Of everything I’ve written, I hope you will remember that God is with you, God is with you, God will always be with you.

• Choose our focus

Fear is like haunting shadow puppets on the wall, looming larger than life but without any substance. We can focus on the shadows and fill our minds with dread-filled scenarios, or we can reign in our thoughts and choose to trust God, focusing on Him and what He is doing in us.

• Trust in the Character and Power of God

God’s character is revealed most clearly through the Bible and through Jesus Christ, who is “the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being,” (Hebrews 1:3). God is good, gracious, and compassionate, He does not change, He does not treat people differently based on outward appearance. He is also sovereign over everything including evil and death, and he works everything for the good of those who love Him – even the ‘worst possible’ sins and situations (Psalm 145:8-9, Hebrews 13:8, Acts 10:34, Romans 8:28). With God on our side, we have nothing to fear.

• Soak in the Scriptures

“Marinade your brain in the Scriptures,” I heard someone say the other day. That way our brains will be full of the flavour of God’s truth. I can’t explain how, but I can testify to the transformative power of the Scriptures. When we read them often and memorise some of them, the Holy Spirit brings them to mind when we need to be reminded, and fear really does subside. See below for some Scriptures to fight fear.

• Pray

By prayer, I mean conversation with God. Thanks, doubts, fears, requests, questions… We are encouraged to pour out our hearts to Him. We can also rest in His presence and wait for His response – a gentle sense, a song or Scripture that comes to mind, a quiet thought. It is helpful to reach out and ask others to pray for us as well.

• Rehearse testimonies

Testimonies build faith. We remember what God has brought us through in the past. Gather friends and ask them to share, even if you have heard them before. Read, watch, and listen to testimonies, including those in the Bible.

• Draw on different responses to fear

Children have limited tools to draw upon in the face of fear, but we need no longer shrink back. As adults we have learned (and can still learn) other skills to respond to situations in which we find ourselves afraid. Instead of shrinking back or “becoming small” when faced with fear, we can speak up, calm ourselves, ask questions, ask for help, practice self-awareness, examine our thoughts, and turn to another for comfort.

• Send fear packing

Fear is an emotion, but it is also the name of an evil spirit. When dealing with a spirit of fear, remember that as a Christian you have authority to send it away. First repent for agreeing with it in any measure, then tell fear to go away in the name of Jesus. Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you as you do this.

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Scriptures to memorise for facing fear

Psalm 23:4 “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me…”

Psalm 34:4 “I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.”

Psalm 56:3 “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”

Psalm 94:18-19 “When I said, ‘My foot is slipping,’ your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.”

Isaiah 26:3-4 “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.”

Matthew 6:31-33 “So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

Matthew 10:31 “Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.”

John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”

Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”