This Side of Perfect: Holding onto Hope when Life Gets Hard

By Allison Brost, 2023 – See her on Facebook

How does God turn grief into glory? Allison Brost’s story of losing her 5-week-old son is one powerful example. It’s a page-turner. I found myself desperate to find out what would happen – how God would turn her story of grief and tragedy into hope and testimony. As well as a peek into one person’s experience of grief, Allison’s story will meet you in your pain and offer great encouragement.

The book is Allison’s story, and that itself is captivating. I read much of it holding back tears. As she says, “God being glorified through a grave? It certainly won’t be the last time,” (p.10).

But it’s more than just her story: She writes to draw the reader in. Her reflections on her own experience and that of characters in the Bible meet the us in our own spaces of suffering and loss. The reflection questions at the end move us from consumers of a story to pilgrims – those who are on a journey and intentionally reflecting on God’s movement within our own stories.

How do you survive burying your child? Come to think of it, how do you survive any profound loss? There is only one way – by clinging steadfastly to Jesus. But what does that look like? Allison shares her experience with nothing to hide. Sometimes it looks like being numb or awkward or fear-filled, but that’s okay. We can just need to keep pressing closer to God. “Every hurt, every shoved-down disappointment, every heartache and hardship – they aren’t meant to bring us down, they’re meant to bring us to Jesus,” (p. 46).

Allison entrusts us with her story of trusting God in acute grief. The lessons she offers are hard-won and gold to those who will listen. Hers is a powerful testimony of how one can press closer to God in tragedy. She says regarding Joseph (and us all), “The bad things? The disappointing things, the things that seem downright bad and awful? These were the necessary ingredients to bring about God’s plan in Joseph’s life,” (p. 79).

Could there possibly be purpose in our pain? We can have confidence that God redeems it and that beauty will come from the brokenness. “Maybe this aching isn’t an accident. Maybe it’s the very tool that God uses to whisper eternity into our oh-so-earthly ears. He’s using it to remind us – there is more,” (p. 186).

But what about the many questions that come together with suffering? Why? What if…? Does God owe us an explanation for our suffering? And even if He gave us one, would we comprehend it? Would it satisfy? While we may never get exact answers, Allison shares that God meets us in our wrestling and gives us the greatest blessing of all:

“The gift God gives us in the middle of our mourning is Himself.”

Allison Brost, This Side of Perfect, p. 16

The transparency throughout Allison’s journey and her doubts are easily relatable. Part of the glory that has come from this loss is Allison’s growth in her faith. I love her honest admission of incorrectly understanding certain Scriptures in the past, because I recognise the same in my own thinking! She cites Romans 8:28 – of course God is good when all goes well in our lives. But through this experience Allison had to wrestle and come to a deeper understanding of the truth that is not dependent on circumstances. God is still good even though she lost her son, even in your suffering and mine.

I was most encouraged by the last chapter – the one on hope. Allison did not disappoint in her promise to bring us to a place of hope. She reminds us of the Holy Spirit in us, and cites Scriptures about hope, and in reading all this I could not help but be infused with a tangible sense of hope, a bubbling up of the Holy Spirit in me confirming the truth of her words.

I’d recommend reading the book once cover-to-cover to follow Allison’s story, but the chapters could also stand alone. I am not particularly in a season of grief (not that grief ever ends), but I will return to this book when I need to be reminded of the truths it contains. Perhaps I’ll turn to the chapter on guilt, or waiting, fear, suffering, beauty from brokenness, or hope.

The book is self-published and could be made better through another round of editing and proofreading, but the few typos are easily forgivable. If you want to be encouraged by the testimony of a sister in Christ who clung to Christ through tragedy and is closer to God because of it, you won’t be disappointed. I look forward to reading any future books by Allison Brost (and I hear she releases songs too).