WayMaker: Finding the Way to the Life You’ve Always Dreamed of
Author: Ann Voskamp
Published in 2022 by W Publishing Group, an imprint of Thomas Nelson
I haven’t had one for years, but WayMaker is officially my favourite book! It’s the unforgettable true story of a marriage and the adoption of a little girl with cardiac complications. It is a window into Ann Voskamp’s soul, her relationship with her husband, and her relationship with God. Her story is vulnerably honest, it’s inspiring to the point of tears, and it’s a gift to Christian women who appreciate poetry and story. Ann’s writing is exquisite and her way with words is out of this world. I hope one day to be able to write like her! Overall, WayMaker is a book that grabs hold of the heart.
It begins with Ann’s honeymoon, embarrassingly cut short. That is just the first of a string of events that do not turn out as expected. The main metaphor is the Exodus, specifically the parting of the waters. Just when there seemed to be no way for the Israelites, God provided a “Red Sea Road.” Ann’s story reassures us that God is still a WayMaker today, not only making a way for us (for His will in our lives) but making His way to us.
After twenty-plus years of marriage and six children, Ann saw a picture of a little girl in China and was gripped with the sense that the girl was to be their daughter. Ann brings us on the journey of the emotional ups and downs and the painstaking wait to adopt to this girl.
Shiloh’s adoption story – from first sight, through heart surgeries, to the present – is a gift to the world. It is a story of God revealing Himself to us, revealing His Father heart. It is a story of extraordinary confirmations and guidance – a blazing neon sign that God is active in this world and orchestrates every detail of our lives.
But in consciously striving to form attachment with this baby, Ann lost attachment with her husband. She skipped out on attending to her soul. She and Darryl grew apart and almost lost their marriage. God got Ann’s attention dramatically, and she risked vulnerability once again, returning (re-turning) to Darryl. But how can anyone forgive themself after the damage is done?
WayMaker is also Ann’s journey of letting herself be seen, be known. Darryl reflects God to Ann. His love steadies her, invites her into being fully known. As she increasingly let her husband see and know her and she increasingly received his love, Ann discovered for herself that “It is only in being really known, in ways that we wish nobody ever knew, that we ever really know what it means to be loved,” (p. 328). In sharing her journey with us, Ann leads the way for us into vulnerability, into intimacy, and ultimately to the Father.
Ann has cultivated the discipline of noticing small details in every moment of every day. Glimmers of beauty, small graces, slight turns of the heart are described in memorable metaphors. She has a way of noticing how everyday things – a bird, a plant – represent aspects of her story. The result is unforgettable. The image of a clematis (which I now know is a plant) and what it represents in Ann’s story is indelibly inked in my memory. Throughout the book Ann weaves theological reflections, musing on topics such as hope, suffering, adoption, and trust – each one rich and encouraging.
Ann’s reflection on the legal aspects of marriage and adoption was a revelation for me, though it is so obvious, really! (Spoiler alert!) Often we describe Christianity as the legal transaction that happens when we first choose to follow God: the forgiveness of our sin and the righteousness we receive in Christ, made possible by Jesus’ death and resurrection. All that is true. But the legal part of our covenant with God is the same as the legal part of a marriage or adoption: it is for the purpose of life together forever. There is so much more to our walk with God than a legal transaction.
What stands out most to me from WayMaker is the lengths to which God went to reassure and reveal Himself. Over and over God guided, confirmed, and encouraged Ann and Darryl. When I got to the part where Ann describes how she pulled over in the middle of nowhere and wept, and I wept with her. Hers and mine were good tears – the kind that express a gratitude birthed in absolute awe of God.
Ann is not afraid to let us in on her “bad” tears either – the kind steeped in self and sin. In describing her own turning inward, her addictions, she describes every reader’s struggle. Though the details differ, the plot is the same: when we lose touch with God, we lose everything worth anything.
To help us stay intimately attached to God, Ann gives us a SACRED compass: an acronym for our devotional times with God. Each letter represents a simple and practical spiritual practice. “Daily experiences may teach us, but daily examining our hearts is used by God to change us,” (p. 157). I have used these prompts in my personal quiet times a few times and they are helpful for probing the depths of my heart – into joy and gratitude but also sin and surrender.
This is not a book for everyone. It is for those Christian women who are attentive to their hearts, who are comfortable with the language of metaphor, and who are unafraid to confront their own fallenness. While it is not only for the married, those who have a spouse will appreciate the mirror an honest peek into one marriage shines into their own marriages.
Like I said, this is my favourite book, not only because of the encouraging story of our God making ways where there seem to be no ways, but also because of the excellence with which Ann writes. It is her story, but the reader is intimately aware of and encouraged in their own story throughout.
