When I am old, I want to be one of those ladies with a bright face and a beautiful garden. They are likely to offer you a cup of tea in fine China and homemade shortbread somewhere amongst the flowers.

Okay, the flowers would be lovely, but what I really aspire to is the presence, the peace, the restfulness, and unhurriedness of these ladies. They are so not striving. The world can carry on in a frenzy around them, but even when they hear bad news, they are not perturbed; they just take it to God in prayer as naturally as one would turn to talk with a friend.

For this blogpost I am defining strive in a negative way: to vigorously exert human effort or strength (as opposed to God’s). I am not suggesting that we don’t need to work hard. Just ask Noah or any one of those ladies who over the years have tended their gardens, raised their families, hosted numerous guests, and prayed through some nights. Working hard is not the same as striving.

Writer experiences

As a writer I’m supposed to post on social media more regularly than I do. But I don’t want to post for the sake of posting. I want to post messages and reminders that will be truly encouraging, and that are birthed from a place of rest and intimacy with God, not from a place of striving. I’d rather post a few valuable nuggets than lots of mediocre ramblings.

I’ve set a deadline for myself to blog every two weeks. But life happens and that deadline becomes a distant dream when I’m in bed with the flu and too sick even to write. That was this past week. I could have strived. I could have punched something out, but I waited. And then this is what the Lord highlighted this morning, and here it is not too many hours later.

We can try all we like to make something happen – a promotion, a favourable relationship, a creative work of art. When we work with God, that’s when the things we do have life and they are truly valuable. When we work in God’s strength, the work may be much but is not heavy, for Jesus promised that His yoke is easy and His burden is light (Matthew 11:30).

Straw

The Apostle Paul warned the Corinthian church to be careful how they build. The same could be said to us today:

“If anyone builds on this foundation [Jesus Christ] using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames,” (1 Corinthians 3:12-15).

I hope to build with gold, silver, and costly stones. But here’s one slam dunk: If we are striving, we are building with straw. So let’s stop striving!

Thomas Aquinas, a 13th century Dominican friar, left his life’s greatest work incomplete after stating, “All that I have written seems like straw compared to what has now been revealed to me.” He was not retracting what he had written, but rather he had had a magnificent revelation that surpassed everything he had known.

If one of the most highly esteemed theologians in history can say of his best work that it seemed as straw, how much more pitiful are our own attempts to hurriedly assemble something just for the sake of making it happen or getting it done?

Cultivating restfulness

So, if we’re not supposed to be striving, what does cultivating restfulness look like? A few years ago I decided to start small on the gardening front. I planted several dahlias – that’s all. But I took great delight in them all summer long, and now I know about dahlias! Last year I planted a pot of zinnias.

Perhaps cultivating restfulness is a little bit like learning to garden. We try one practice for a while, then try another. Here are a few practices I am learning by trying in this season.

• Saying no to a lot. We say no to the many things to say a fully committed yes to the few. (My husband is better at this than I am. He helps me.) We try to schedule spaces between activities. I rarely go out with the kids more than once a day. We leave time to be together as a family with no agenda. Some of the most fun games get invented during these times. What young child (and dad) doesn’t love a good round of “bumpy chair” or “cranes”?!
• Enjoying each season to the fullest. These days the guests I serve most often are my children and our “fine China” is an odd assortment of plastic cups. I enjoy discovering nature with them and witnessing the smile on my son’s face as a worm tickles his hands. I try to be unhurried as we walk to the mailbox and stop to pick up every fir cone or helicopter leaf along the way.
• Intentional boundaries around technology and entertainment. This is one area that can so easily fill up every spare minute of our days. I love Annie Dillard’s quote, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” Deciding what we are not going to do (e.g. binge watch the latest series over the weekend) is only part of a plan. Articulating to ourselves why can be helpful for sticking to our plan. And choosing something fun or creative to do in its place is rewarding.
• Creating beautiful, comfortable, welcoming spaces – in our home or our conversations. (I love Sally & Sarah Clarkson.) Our home is far from picture-perfect, or sometimes even from tidy, but I take joy in creating beauty within it on a small scale – one décor item or framed photo at a time. And we love to welcome people and make them feel at home. A favourite question our kids love asking at dinner is “What did you enjoy doing today?”
• Relishing the opportunity to do simple chores. I’ve been sick for a few days and (believe it or not) I’m looking forward to washing the dishes after a few days of not being able to! Sometimes I put on music or a podcast, but other times it’s just me alone with my thoughts. When I prioritise silence, there is more opportunity for God to speak – or rather, I am more aware of Him speaking.
• Prayer as a way of life. Like an ongoing conversation with a good friend, prayer can be just chatting with God about the butterflies or the children or the latest news. There are moments of lighthearted humour and other moments of earnest intensity.

God’s purposes will prevail

When I think about not striving, I find it helpful to consider the following verses. The crowds were rioting against Peter and the apostles who proclaimed Jesus has risen from the dead. Gamaliel, a Pharisee and member of the Sanhedrin, addressed the Sanhedrin:

^“Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God,” (Acts 5:38-39).

God’s purposes will prevail. If we are submitted to God, no one can stop His purposes for our lives. They will happen without us having to strive. Work hard with God, yes. Trust God, yes. Strive in an effort to make them happen, no.

Friend, in which areas are you striving? What is God saying to you about this area? How can you cease striving and wait on God, surrender to God, and work with God instead?