Have you experienced it yet? The crushing pressure and deep sadness at the end of yourself when you realise you can’t do it all? Jen Oshman explains how we got here in her book Enough About Me: Finding Lasting Joy in the Age of Self. It was inevitable. As millennial women, we have grown up on a diet of I-can-do-it praise. We’ve added Christian flavour to feminist efforts and ended up at breaking point.

We break down because we are running on the wrong fuel. We have put ourselves first instead of God. We have succumbed to the false promises of the world. “Our intuition says the more we prioritize ourselves, the better we will feel about ourselves. But in reality, the more you and I look at ourselves, the more we loath ourselves because we fall short.” We may have glittering smiles but our hearts become withered and we can’t go on.

You see, “When we become our own source of meaning, we also become our only source of satisfaction and fulfilment,” and it’s not enough. Jen Oshman invites us away from self-centered me-ology to rightly ordered theology, the study of God. She shines a bright light on the only path to take that will lead us to lasting joy.

Finding Lasting Joy

Throughout the book one thing is clear and consistent: we cannot, but God is able. We cannot free ourselves, create meaning, satisfy ourselves, come to God, be holy, make ourselves happy, or do anything worth anything. By God’s grace we confess our inadequacy in everything, and He takes care of the rest.

The world offers temporary joys, but lasting joy is only found in beholding God. Enough with small god Christianity and manageable callings, it’s time to see God for who He is and die to ourselves – an impossible calling made possible by Him. The self-denying faith cycle is ever enlarging.

Strengths

The book is laden with Scripture, for every aspect of it points us back to God. I sincerely appreciated the thoughtful questions for reflection or discussion after each chapter. I loved getting a feel for the author through what she shares of her life and her stories, and I won’t easily forget her points made by Banyan trees and Disneyland.

Personally, the concept – the one word – that speaks loudest to me is that we don’t need to “clamor.” We live our lives faithfully trusting God from a place of rest, knowing that He will bring about His will. It’s not up to you or me, or any size group. He’s got it. He’s got us.

I love that Jen Oshman doesn’t offer anything new in the way of advice – the truly Christian way of life is ancient – but she points out many areas in which we have become comfortable and have compromised. It’s time for a deep clean. Out with every morsel of unhealthy self.

Invite God to transform your heart as you read this book. “Knowledge alone does not ensure mature Christian growth, for two reasons. The first is that we are driven by our love more than our knowledge. The second is that we need a power outside of us to help us.” Once again – only God.

Siren Call of Self

I was a bit confused for much of the book because I did not understand the term “siren call of self” (my ignorance shows!). But an understanding of the idiom and Greek mythology renders it a powerful metaphor. A dictionary definition of siren in Greek mythology is “women or winged creatures whose singing lured unwary sailors on to rocks.” A siren call is something appealing but dangerous. Jen Oshman warns us that the focus and prioritization of the self is appealing but dangerous. If we are lured by the self, we will be shipwrecked.

Instead, as we follow the ancient paths and avoid the temptation to self, we will find the lasting joy for which we have been created. I highly recommend this book to those who have found themselves unsatisfied by a lesser gospel.

Jen Oshman, Enough About Me: Finding Lasting Joy in the Age of Self, Crossway, 2020.